im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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