The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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