hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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