well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
