All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
