took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
where are you?
Hypothermia
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
