so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You ate ashes out of my bong
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
