Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
