So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
