I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
