Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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