Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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