tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize