i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
