Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
