Umm I'm too high to move.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
