Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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