margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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