lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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