So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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