He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
