I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you didnt know i had herpes?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize