you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you had me at cake vodka
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
