the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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