jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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