I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
