i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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