That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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