Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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