Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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