im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
