I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
