She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
