Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
