i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
