i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize