I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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