My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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