When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize