so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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