just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
