I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
