she was so not down for the gang bang
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
