drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
