i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
