i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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