You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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