I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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