And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
