he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
