Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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