I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
