It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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