I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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