I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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