Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
