I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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