this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
