i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
