maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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