Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
