What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
