his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
