i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
